Surprise Joe

Use the episode guide above to make sure you're all caught up on the most surprising ever serial mystery, before you read the newest episode below.

Every Tuesday at 1:00pm, its the most surprising ever serial-mystery, Surprise Joe. Check out the newest episode directly below, or browse through the archives above to catch up.

I don't know Joe Rogan, but I do know somebody who had his picture taken with Joe Rogan once. If you want to learn real things about Joe Rogan, you should Google his name, and probably check out Wikipedia or his official website. Also, I don't know anything about dog staches except that they are cool. If you want your own dog stache, go to Muttropolis.com

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

3x02: A Big-Headed Surprise




Joe was on his way to save Brittany. Everyone was worried. The writers had never killed off anyone except for Joe’s clone. But Joe was worried that since the Giraffetasaur was writing the show, anything could happen now. So Joe drove quickly.

In fact, Joe drove so quickly that it was almost too late when he saw a big-headed baby crying in the middle of the road. He swerved out of the way, just in time. Oh no! thought Joe. He had to save Brittany, but there was a lonely baby sitting in the street. So Joe stepped out of his car, and decided to save that big-headed baby too.



“Hello little baby,” he said, as he picked up the baby. Joe supported the baby’s neck properly (which was especially important because the baby’s head was so big) and buckled the baby into the passenger seat of his car. Then the baby started crying.

It didn’t make any sense that Joe would find a baby in the middle of the road, thought the baby. This was exactly the type of wild, illogical plot turn that the baby hated so much. And it was so reckless to buckle a baby into a car without a proper car seat. But then again, it wasn’t safe for babies to sit in the middle of the road either.



How did I end up in the middle of the road? The baby wondered pretty hard, but babies don’t have very good memories and soon the baby was more concerned with something shiny on Joe’s dashboard.

When they arrived at Brittany’s house, her front door was open. They went inside. “Hello?” Joe was calling out for Brittany, and the baby was crying a little, but Brittany couldn’t hear them because she was not there.



Then, Joe noticed a red light blinking on Brittany’s answering machine. The baby saw it too, but was a little skeptical. No one used answering machines anymore, and it seemed like the Giraffetasaur was resorting to contrived plot devices rather than coming up with creative, interesting narratives. The baby just wanted a little character development.

Joe thought about listening to the message. He hated the idea of invading Brittany’s privacy, but Joe knew that if he was going to save Brittany, he was going to need a clue. So he pressed PLAY:



Brittany? This is the Giraffetasaur. I’ve given up writing the show. I need to see you now. I’ll explain everything if you meet me today. Three o’clock, at the place where you and I first met.

When the message ended, the baby’s eyes were wide. If the Giraffetasaur wasn’t writing the show, then who was? What did Brittany have to do with any of this? It was only 10 in the morning, and they still had time to figure out where to find them--how, though? The baby was so worried.

But Joe knew what to do. He just looked at that big-headed baby, smiled a little and said, “don’t look so surprised.”

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