Surprise Joe

Use the episode guide above to make sure you're all caught up on the most surprising ever serial mystery, before you read the newest episode below.

Every Tuesday at 1:00pm, its the most surprising ever serial-mystery, Surprise Joe. Check out the newest episode directly below, or browse through the archives above to catch up.

I don't know Joe Rogan, but I do know somebody who had his picture taken with Joe Rogan once. If you want to learn real things about Joe Rogan, you should Google his name, and probably check out Wikipedia or his official website. Also, I don't know anything about dog staches except that they are cool. If you want your own dog stache, go to Muttropolis.com

Monday, February 7, 2011

3x07: Bradus Ex Cagina





When Brad took that cure, it gave him the biggest clue. He got out of that cage, and he felt good. In fact, he had figured out the biggest surprise of the whole season before anyone else! 

He could resolve the whole narrative. But first, he had to find everyone…

***

Meanwhile, Mayor Mean Man paced villainously about his lavishly decorated suite in town hall.



“What a beautiful day,” he whispered arrogantly to someone off-camera. But it was so cloudy outside. And everyone could tell by his devilish grin, the Mayor was talking to a woman. She was probably a deviant too.

He continued: “I really enjoyed that newest episode of Surprise Joey. I don’t have any idea what's going on, but I can’t help wondering what will happen next! Yes, what a successful spinoff.” He smiled again. “Thanks to you...”

She did not respond, but she was probably smiling and gloating.

“And soon my M.E.A.N. Plan will go into effect…” He cackled like such a villain, until his secretary buzzed him on his hands-free, Bluetooth-enabled headset.


 
“Yes, Mrs. Teet?”

“Mr. Mayor, the cure has arrived.” Mayor Mean Man smiled so widely and menacingly. She continued, “Shall I have them to bring it to the Dark Room?”

“Yes. Thank you, Mrs. Teet. And please send Joe a message. Tell him to meet me there.”

“Is that all, Mr. Mayor?”

He paused. “No, Mrs. Teet. Tell him, ‘Don’t look so surprised.’”

***



Joe was racing toward town hall like a mad man when he felt his phone vibrate. Joe always kept his phone on ‘vibrate,’ because keeping it on ‘ring’ was so rude. But he didn’t even consider that messaging while driving was such a hazard.

From the office of Mayor Mean Man…

Joe was not surprised. The Mayor was taunting him. But Joe had the cure. He was going to stop that villain and find Brittany, and that’s exactly how the season would end. Everyone was  hoping for a better surprise in the finale. But Joe knew: The show was already over... and he was done with surprises.

In the backseat, the baby had stopped crying. She remembered. That morning. The nurse had injected her with the cure. She wished her life would go back to the way it was... 



But the baby had never been referred to as a “he” or a “she” before. It was such a clue, but no one even cared! The show was so stupid, and everything always happened so randomly—what difference would it make if the baby was a girl or a boy?

And then the car stopped in the alley behind town hall.



“We’re here little baby. I’m going to find Brittany. But I’ll be damned if there are any more surprises today.”

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