1x01: Surprise!

Today, Joe was really surprised. He was online and he saw the most surprising thing.

"Wow," Joe said, "dog staches are so cool!" So, you can't imagine how surprised he was when he met my friend Brad later that day--and Brad was wearing a dog stache!

"That was so surprising." Joe was so surprised. But then Brad was like "Hey Joe, meet my friend Brittany," and Brittany was my friend first--but anyway--Joe was so surprised, mostly, because Brittany was wearing a dog stache too. Look!

"Wow. Brittany has such a great dog stache." That's what everyone was saying, and Joe was even surprised how great Brittany's dog stache was.

"Joe never gets this surprised." I'm not sure who said that, but I bet somebody did. But it doesn't even matter because the best part was when this baby came rolling over to Joe. Joe was so surprised, and it wasn't because the baby had a stupid, fat head. It was because the baby was wearing a dog stache. Wow!

Joe looks so surprised, right? I know. But you will be so shocked when you find out what surprising thing Joe saw next. A man came up to Joe and shook Joe's hand and they were both crying a little and it got so awkward for everyone else in the casino. All the people were shocked. "Can you believe how surprising this is?" That's what everybody was asking each other. You know why? Because Joe was talking to himself. Wearing a dog stache. And he was so surprised.

Like, think about how surprised you would be if you met your clone. And then multiply that by 10 because Joe's clone was wearing a dog stache. "Wow," Joe said to Joe. "This is surprising." The crowd was really quiet for a second, but then a mean man walked in. He was being really impolite and not saying excuse me, but he pushed all the way to the center of the crowd and put his arm around Joe. Joe wasn't surprised. Joe knew the man, and all the horrible things the man had done, and so Joe said to the man:

"Did you forget your dog stache?" And the man said back something really mean, but I feel like I should cool off before I tell that story. It's really mean, though, and you should come back tomorrow to find out what it was. Really.