Surprise Joe

Use the episode guide above to make sure you're all caught up on the most surprising ever serial mystery, before you read the newest episode below.

Every Tuesday at 1:00pm, its the most surprising ever serial-mystery, Surprise Joe. Check out the newest episode directly below, or browse through the archives above to catch up.

I don't know Joe Rogan, but I do know somebody who had his picture taken with Joe Rogan once. If you want to learn real things about Joe Rogan, you should Google his name, and probably check out Wikipedia or his official website. Also, I don't know anything about dog staches except that they are cool. If you want your own dog stache, go to Muttropolis.com

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

1x05: The Dark Room

 
“I can’t believe they thought—“ the Giraffetasaur panted, “—I was a great doctor.”  He was out of breath from running so far, carrying such a big baby.  They were in a suspiciously dark room, but the baby already knew what suspicious things the Giraffetasaur was going to do.


The Giraffetasaur pulled out a suspicious looking syringe.  The baby was very smart and had already figured out the Giraffetasaur’s plan.  I wish I could tell someone, the baby thought.  But no one ever listens to babies.

The Giraffetasaur held the syringe up to the baby’s fat head.  “We need something from you.”  He laughed so suspiciously. 


The Giraffetasaur stuck his needle into the baby’s dog stache.  The baby was not surprised, and knew all along that the mean man and the Giraffetasaur gave everyone dog staches as part of an evil plan to surprise Joe for the last time.  I am so bad with adults, the baby thought. 

The baby was bad with adults, but not compared to most babies.  The baby cried a lot and had a hard time communicating, and also also drank so much milk.  You weren’t there, but one time Joe found out how much milk the baby drank.  Joe was so surprised.



That’s pretty much how Joe looked when he found out.  But back in the dark room, the Giraffetasaur was putting away his syringe kit.  “Everything is moving along swimmingly,” he boasted.  Wow.  Only a villain would use such a pretentious adverb, the baby thought.  But then the baby heard a knock at the door.  The Giraffetasaur heard it too.  “Who’s there?”

“It’s Brad!  The mean man sent me.”  The Giraffetasaur was not surprised.  He knew that Joe really sent Brad.  Joe always used diet soda as bait to trap the Giraffetasaur in a cage.  Not this time.  “He told me to bring you a diet soda,”  Brad called back.  The Giraffetasaur let Brad in.



“Why is it so dark in here?”  Brad thought the lighting in the Giraffetasaur’s room was so suspicious, but he was not surprised.  Everything is going according to Joe’s plan, he thought.

“I have been grieving my lost uncle,” the Giraffetasaur said.  The baby knew the Giraffetasaur was lying. It’s a trap!, the baby wanted to tell Brad, but could not say a word.  The baby felt so trapped and alone, and started crying really loudly.  The Giraffetasaur walked over to the baby.



“Quiet down little baby,” the Giraffetasaur hushed, “have some of this Diet X and maybe you will stop crying.”  The Giraffetasaur wanted to see what Brad would do now.  If he gave the baby this Diet X, the Giraffetasaur thought, the baby would probably be poisoned or something tricky.  “The mean man still wants me to give the baby Diet X, right Brad?”

Oh no, thought Brad.  If the Giraffetasaur gives the baby any soda, the baby will be up all night! And then there’s the secret ingredient of Diet X… oh no, Brad thought again.  But just as the Giraffetasaur  was about to feed Diet X to the baby, the baby stopped crying.  “I guess the baby is fine,” Brad sighed relief.

“Maybe the baby is fine—” the Giraffetasaur laughed.  The Giraffetasaur clapped twice, and the lights in the room came on instantly.  “—but you’re not.” 

Brad looked around.  He was very surprised.

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