Joe sat and waited for Brittany and the mean man to wake up. Joe knew they weren’t sleeping because they were tired. He should have known all along this was the surprising aftereffect of Formula X. He looked at his dog stache.
The mean man tricked me again, Joe thought. And he was snoring like such a villain.
Joe sat down and tried to get a plan, but he still couldn’t. Mostly because of the Formula X. I guess Formula X has two aftereffects, Joe thought. Or maybe the writers were just being careless again. So, Joe kept waiting for Brittany and the mean man to wake up, and he hoped that the narrative would progress in the meantime…
In the meantime, the Giraffetasaur wasn’t dying. He was pretty tough, and his blood clotted faster than most people’s. Still, he needed a bandage and some antiseptic. Mostly to prevent infection.
“I need a bandage and some antiseptic,” the Giraffetasaur told the baby. “Mostly to prevent infection.” The baby was surprised. Most babies don’t know much about preventing disease. “Give me your cell phone so I can call a nurse,” the Giraffetasaur demanded.
It shouldn’t surprise anybody that the baby didn’t have a cell phone, mostly because the baby was careless with valuable electronics. The baby was getting pretty overwhelmed by the chaotic storytelling and the lack of narrative direction. In fact, most people were.
So the baby started crying. This is absurd, the baby thought. The Giraffetasaur must have done something to my dog stache when he pricked it with that syringe. And now I’m stuck here with him.
Wow. That baby must have been pretty clever, because that’s exactly why the baby and the Giraffetasaur hadn’t been swept away by all those flashing lights and loud noises. That’s when everyone realized pretty quickly that this wasn’t a throwaway episode.
Right then a nurse came to the door. It was the prettiest nurse that most people had ever seen. And the nurse was wearing a dog stache!
“Did somebody call a nurse?”
The Giraffetasaur and the baby had not called a nurse. Somebody must have been watching them. And they were very surprised…
In the meantime, the mean man had woken up. “I have a plan, Joe. But I’ll only tell you if you promise me right now that you’re in.” Brittany said she did not want to do anything mean. She told the mean man all about a nice plan she had, but the mean man didn’t even listen. He was probably such a sexist, but also he was hard of hearing in his right ear, so he never heard her anyway.
Joe thought hard. He had never done anything mean before. Joe liked to fight injustices and eat healthy snacks. But Joe couldn’t get a plan of his own. They were a long way from home, Joe thought. And they needed a plan to get back. Joe didn’t have a choice.
So Joe listened to the mean man’s mean plan. And at every turn, the mean man’s plan got more evil and more villainous, and the mean man kept getting meaner and meaner, and before long he was cackling like a loon! And when it was all told, Joe looked at the mean man with a glaze of astonishment painted on his face.
But the mean man smirked villainously and growled: “Don’t look so surprised.”
No comments:
Post a Comment