Surprise Joe

Use the episode guide above to make sure you're all caught up on the most surprising ever serial mystery, before you read the newest episode below.

Every Tuesday at 1:00pm, its the most surprising ever serial-mystery, Surprise Joe. Check out the newest episode directly below, or browse through the archives above to catch up.

I don't know Joe Rogan, but I do know somebody who had his picture taken with Joe Rogan once. If you want to learn real things about Joe Rogan, you should Google his name, and probably check out Wikipedia or his official website. Also, I don't know anything about dog staches except that they are cool. If you want your own dog stache, go to Muttropolis.com

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

4x07: Left IV Dead

The mean girl and Brittany had come back to the island from the future or whatever. Brittany just wanted to find her baby and go home.

“I can’t believe Joe didn’t notice us on that plane,” the mean girl sounded disappointed.


Brittany turned toward her: “That guy he was with—the doctor, he was so…”

“That,” the mean girl laughed, “was the mean man. He wants to rewrite the ending of season four or something.”

“Wait, like—”

“Okay, so if Scobatron never dies, then your baby might not either.”


“Wait…” Brittany was so surprised. “What?”

***

The Mean Supremacy was brooding. “I guess I’m going to die soon.”


Brittany-from-the-present had just come back to life. She was in a good mood. “Just because you-from-the-future got killed by an arrow, doesn’t mean you will.”

He stared intently ahead. “I’ll do it for you.”

“Do what?”

He pointed toward the Giraffetasaur.

That’s when Brittany realized. “My baby,” she said quietly.


The Mean Supremacy glanced down. “Joe-from-the-future needs me.”

“I need you.” The writers must have known no one was reading. They were getting so lazy with the dialogue.

“They came back because the ending of season four was really bad. They came back to fix it. But they don't know...”

“You mean…” Brittany was shocked.

The Mean Supremacy glowered. “Don’t look so surprised.”

***

“You really don’t have any idea where this is going, do you?” The nurse could have been talking to the writers, but she was talking to that big-headed baby.



“We’re going to see the white male.”

“No!” She shouted. “This is ridiculous. How can we go see the white male if you don’t know where he is?”

Just then a man appeared. He was white. And it was so surprising.

“Wait. You’re the white male?” The nurse sounded disappointed.


“No.” Brad sighed. His character had been severely underutilized this season.

“I need to see the white male,” said the baby.

“Nobody sees the white male…” Brad tried to milk his few lines for dramatic effect. “Until they pass this test.”

The nurse trembled.

Brad pulled out a Scantron sheet and grinned. “I hope you brought a number-two pencil.”


***

Meanwhile, Scobatron IV was bathing Chardion.


Nothing was out of the ordinary, until the Giraffetasaur busted in. “We have to stop that baby!”

“Where did you come from?” Chardion was afraid.


“I was on that plane from the future.”

“Why should we believe you?”

“Don’t believe me,” the Giraffetasaur said. “Believe him…”


Another, more confident-looking, Chardion stepped into the room. Chardion was so surprised. But it was Scobatron IV’s turn to take a bath.


“So if you’re from the future…” Scobatron IV was skeptical. “Am I really going to die?”

Just then, Chardion-from-the-past realized such an awful thing and he shouted, "Scoba! No!"

There was a huge explosion and an electrical fire, and Scobatron IV short-circuited and died in the bathtub.


“If you want to make an omelette,” the Giraffetasaur trailed off.

“The robot must die?”

“No. You have to break… Well. Yeah, I guess.”

“Oh.” It wasn’t funny because everyone's favorite, sassy half-robot was dead. Or maybe it was a poorly written exchange. Except it didn't matter either way, because Chardion-from-the-past was so surprised.

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